Looks like someone forgot to give our mascot the summer break he deserved... or maybe he just couldn’t stay away from campus. Left unsupervised for the entire season, our beloved Superfan made the most of the empty halls and quiet classrooms. Here’s a quick rundown of all the wild (and sometimes questionable) activities he got up to while the rest of us were on vacation:
Superfan was spotted:
✅ Stuck in a Swivel Chair for 20 Minutes – He's okay, the chair is another story.
✅ Alphabetizing Highlighters – For “efficiency.” (We’re not sure what he was planning, but we respect the dedication.)
✅ Pretending to Be a Campus Tour Guide for Lost New Staff – Those new staff members are still wandering, and missing posters were made.
✅ Naming All the Potted Plants – Meet “Fernie” and “Cactus McCactus.”
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✅ Mistaking Tour Guides for New Students – Scared a few prospective freshmen, their guides, and one random UPS driver. Oops.
✅ Stress-Eating Goldfish Crackers in the Supply Closet – A lot of crumbs were found.
✅ Using a Stapler as a Microphone for “Office Hours” – Health Services visit required.
✅ Giving Motivational Speeches to Statues – They didn’t seem too inspired, but we’re hopeful.
✅ Testing Every Dry-Erase Marker – Science experiment or just chaos? You decide.
✅ Labeling the Label Maker – Because why not.
✅ Making the photocopier into a pet and trying to walk it – Not sure what he thought it was, but the Copy Center was not amused
✅ Herding Squirrels with a Laser Pointer – No squirrels were harmed in the making of this chaos, but campus police were busy.
✅ Turning Every Staircase Into a Runway – Health services were required once again.
Superfan may have been left alone, but he sure didn’t leave campus boring. Hurry back, Vikings, we need some help keeping him out of trouble. He will see you all at Welcome Week.